Little Ones

This is a very personal post for me to write.

Some of you may or may not know, I am working as a substitute teacher to finance myself here in Boston. People think that you need a teaching degree or certificate to do this, but in my district and the districts around, one does not need a teaching degree. Honestly, I am perfectly capable and at ease teaching anything k-8th grade. I'd be a little more nervous trying to teach Chemistry or BC Calculus on a high school level, but apparently subs are rarely used at the High School in my district. Either way, teachers usually leave INCREDIBLY detailed lesson plans that tell one exactly what to do.

Some people who know me may be shocked that this is what I do for work now. Some may know that children can (and do) irritate me. I often have very little patience with them. Some of you have probably heard me express a wish to just skip that whole part of my life entirely (having kids). However, most of my jobs prior to the age of 22 were actually teaching children. I substitute taught, I taught swimming, and I even worked as a "party motivator" - teaching 13 year olds how to dance at Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. Long story short, I do eventually want to have children.

Now I'm back to teaching. I am sometimes shocked at what I hear from kids, and their abilities when it comes to math and reading. However, I never attribute it to laziness on their part...I'm more curious and saddened about what is going on at home that their parents somehow aren't supporting their learning. When I can explain something to a child, and connect with them as a teacher, it feels great. I had actually thought about teaching instead of joining Air Force. And I think that I might use the GI Bill to get a masters in teaching. Or tax. I haven't decided yet.

If I am a pilot, I will finish my commitment in about 2025-ish. That means I will be 40. If I do CSO, I will finish in 2021-ish. That means I'll be 36. It's not concrete, but I guess I thought I'd have kids starting at 30-ish. I don't know who with, but I do hope that I will be married and have kids by the time I have finished my Air Force commitment. Of course, if I "re-up" I get a RIDICULOUS bonus every year for the 5 years that I re-sign up for, but that's something to worry about way later. In the past couple of years, I have been in serious relationships, with a kind of certainty and comfort that I care about someone who could potentially be my partner. One of the reasons I moved to the U.S. was actually for a guy I care about very much. Air Force doesn't completely axe all of those relationships, but it is a world of it's own. As I've said before, this is something I'm doing solely as a career choice. It is something that I know will challenge me and it's something that I know I will love. Relationships are no where on the radar in this decision. It's scary. I've never done something like this before. And I'm really just throwing my personal life to the wind and hoping that it shakes out in a good way somehow someday.

I've asked. I'm not going to commit 10 years unless I know EXACTLY what happens when I decide to get pregnant and have kids. There is a wonderful Captain who has been beyond sweet in answering my random questions like this. To be honest though, I'm not afraid to ask these questions, because if one commits many years to a "company" I think one is entitled to know what benefits or restrictions will be placed on them when life hits. So here's the deal. Apparently, when I am definitely pregnant, I will placed on restricted duty, and I will not be allowed to fly. As the Captain said "they don't want to put any more stress on the baby than they have to." Understandable. Kind of a bummer because flying is SO AWESOME AND FUN. Also, I think I'd rather have the 10 months off AFTER I have the baby than before. Anyway. I'm trying to figure out what exactly "restricted duty" means, but it clearly means NOT doing what I'm trained to do (fly). So...I guess I'd hang out with my wing and...help? I don't know. I know that I DON'T want to do nothing for the 9 months that I'm pregnant. I think if that happens I would be very bored. And very fat. I don't like.

Fortunately, I know that post-childbirth will be great. Air Force is super supportive for families. They help you move, they have child care support, and they'll pay for your kids education too (you can pass on the GI bill to your kids if you want). The one last thing I have to figure out is if the 9 months I'm not flying I have to "make up" later. I feel like I would have to, but maybe not. If I'm making up the 9 months of pregnancy, I might as well stay in for the 20 years that guarantees me a pension. Because if I have 2 kids that I have to make up time for, that's another year and a half, making my total time in (post Officer Training) 14 years.

Anyway. Some stuff I've been thinking about. It's not deterring me from doing Air Force, and it's not stirring any strong emotions, but it's something in the back of my mind. We shall see...